


Things Change

by PrinnPrick



Category: Star Ocean, Star Ocean: The Second Story | Second Evolution
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, POV First Person, POV Third Person, Rating May Change, Requited Love, Surprises, Switching, Tags May Change, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2019-09-29 19:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17209151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinnPrick/pseuds/PrinnPrick
Summary: Claude has feelings for Rena, but Rena makes it clear she doesn't like him back.  It doesn't hurt as much as he thought it would, but it still sucks she chose Dias... However, who Dias wants is a bit of a surprise.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Star Ocean 2 (the PlayStation 2 versus the PSP version) is such an under-appreciated game. I'm absolutely obsessed with it, and have been since it first came out!
> 
> Anyway, I am completely winging this stuff. I just decided to re-play the game (for the millionth time <3) and I had this idea pop into my head. Normally it might have been something someone else had already done, but like I said... Such an under-appreciated gem~ 
> 
> I also have a Claude Kenni tumblr I've been neglecting. Yes, I role play as Claude Kenni. I'd do it a lot more often if I could, but alas... Almost no one has played this game or they played the PSP version (a.k.a. the less charming version) and thought it wasn't worth their time. 
> 
> Er, right--ha. The fic. So I may or may not add mature content later. I'll leave it open just in case. 
> 
> (Added: I wrote this on my tablet and the Auto is weird and hates me. It kept wanting to correct Claude's name to Claire. So if there are words that don't make sense somewhere just let me know. It was probably the tablet. >>)

"I'm sorry, Claude," she began with her face turned toward her feet and her hands wringing together. She seemed to be holding back tears. "Its not that I don't have feelings for you--I do, I... I feel very strongly for you, but... I just..."

Rena sighed and shook her head in dismay. When she finally looked back up at Claude he confirmed she was crying. There was a definite wetness and a ring of pink around her eyes. As would happen when she was upset, she frowned wide enough to show a sliver of teeth and her lips were shaking and crooked.

"I just can't give up on Dias! I can't... I'm so sorry..."

And just as she had in the past, with that final declaration Rena turned and jogged away down the hall and out of the North City hotel. He could hear the entrance bell ring and the door slam shut behind her.

With everything that had happened--the destruction of Expel and now the hunt for the four fields--there hadn't been a break long enough to discuss things like feelings or to form proper relationships. In fact, it had at first felt like all that "silliness" (as Celine put it) was the last thing any of them should be thinking about.

But it also seemed like the most important things in the world, too. Who knew if they would ever make it to a time peaceful enough to be in love? To be free to hold and cherish someone? 

Since the beginning, Rena and Claude seemed inevitable. There was no denying there was something there between them, but it had been questionable if it was something akin to love (or at least romantic affection). They were easily jealous of one another for a fact--Rena certainly acted possessive of Claude, and vice versa. Even earlier that day Rena still seemed scared someone might win Claude from her when Chisato tried to flirt.

But just as there was _something_ that could have been romantic... there was also a wall.

Claude let gravity pull him down toward the bed. Claude knew he was a moper, sometimes of the angry sort, when he was upset. It was better for everyone if he just stayed where he was until he felt okay enough to at least fake like he wasn't sad or confused.

The door to the room creaked, however. 

"... Hey. I saw Rena just now," the voice was deep and sympathetic. Claude could just see the pitying smile on Ashton's face without looking. Heavy footfall followed the shutting of the door. "I'm guessing... Things didn't go well?"

"No. No, they didn't."

The bed to the right of Claude compressed and compelled the blonde to move again, this time sitting up with his hands planted behind him. 

"Wanna talk about it?"

Claude chuckled, "That obvious?"

"Nothing wrong with turning to a friend for your troubles. I whine to you all the time, like yesterday when I stubbed my toe on a rock."

"This is a little different than a stubbed toe..."

"You're right. Its more significant."

Claude sighed and turned to stare at a random spot on the wall. He already knew he was going to spill to someone--he was bad at keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself. At least Ashton he trusted not to bring it up as a joke later.

"So, you know I confessed to Rena sometime ago... Back on Expel."

"Yeah."

"And she didn't give me an answer, not really."

"Mmhmm."

"So... What with thinking about the future, and thinking of before we came here to Nede when she thought I was dead, and seeing her still... She still... Ugh."

"She still what?"

"She still... Seemed to want me. She got mad when Chisato playfully touched my arm earlier and in Central City before that when a few girls came up to talk to me about my jacket. She also got mad a lot when Precis had a crush on me, but..."

Claude closed his eyes and sighed.

"She said it's Dias. Dias is what she wants."

"Oh, man... I'm sorry, Claude."

"No, don't be. It's... Not that surprising. You know how she's always been with him."

"Yeah, I remember the tournament. She went running to be with him."

"Before you were in the picture, she had abandoned us for him at Mars village, too. She probably would have left with him then if he hadn't run off alone so quickly. I figured back then it was because it was one-sided on my part. I mean, she still barely knew me and all. When we traveled, we hardly spoke. I got to know Celine long before I knew much about Rena."

Ashton nodded. The dragons hanging over his shoulders seemed to snort and grunt in response, but Ashton didn't bother translating so it probably was just a noise (or they had said something mean and Ashton was choosing to ignore it).

"What now? Will things be strange between you two?"

Claude opened his eyes and stared at his outstretched legs. 

"I mean, it'd be stranger if they weren't... But... Maybe not as weird as I thought."

"What does that mean? You thought she might reject you after all?"

"I mean, there was this awkwardness there since Expel. Something I felt needed to be addressed and made certain one way or another... Some ephemeral thing that was getting in the way."

Ashton leaned forward curiously and Claude turned to him, flashing a small smile.

"In other words; I wanted to know. As selfish as that sounds, I just wanted it out of the way--no matter the answer. I felt like we couldn't move on otherwise. I'm sure ignoring it would have been easier on her, though."

"And how do you feel now?"

"Better. A lot better, actually... Different, I think."

"Different how?"

"Maybe its just me consoling myself, but... Well, I think I was just hoping for something because I felt like I was _supposed_ to be with her. Like it would happen whether we liked it or not in the end. Like we were being pulled together."

"That... Doesn't sound like the foundation for a lasting relationship. That sounds closer to settling."

Claude nodded softly in agreement.

"But I don't know. Maybe I was confused like that or maybe I felt something real and I'm trying to comfort myself somehow. But having her make the decision to not do that feels... Almost liberating. Like the heavy weight of expectation can finally be thrown off. Mind you, it didn't feel that way at first--just since we came to Nede."

Discussing it like that made Claude feel instantly lighter. He released the breath he had been holding and felt his stomach relax. He hadn't known it was clenching.

"Well, I hope it was the former. In fact, I think it is. You two haven't been terribly close since Expel."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I thought you two were destined to be together in some way, too. When she thought you were dead she looked like she might die herself--and in front of everyone, including Dias, she threw herself at you and seemed to declare herself right there in front of everyone. But... You didn't really react."

"I... I didn't?"

"Yeah. She said she wanted you and only you, but all you said was her name and then kind of ignored her before and after for everyone else."

"I... Did?"

"Yeah. And you didn't really do anything at all when she declared her feelings. That's why it's been kind of weird seeing you two so... Not... Well, not together. After that display and all those times before when you two were so obvious it hurt, you should have been all over each other in love."

"Hmm... I... I kind of know what you're talking about."

"See? You don't even really know! That doesn't exactly scream romance, you know."

"Maybe you're right..."

"I am right. If you two were meant to be together, trust me--you would be. There's no reason you wouldn't even with Dias here."

"Yeah. Hearing you put it that way... I can't help but agree. No one who really wants to be with someone would pass up the opportunity to do just that so easily. And it _was_ easy, right there in front of my face begging me to take hold... And I ignored it. It must have been so confusing for her having me go back and forth like that...." _And here I thought it was just her because of how often she rejected me then pulled me back before. I must have made her insecure._ Claude nodded to himself.

"You're pretty wise, Ashton... Well, sometimes, I guess."

"Hey!"

Ashton playfully punched Claude's arm and they both laughed a little. Claude just barely caught the weepy eyes of Ururun rolling.

"So, think you'll be all right?"

"Yeah. I'm already better, I think. I feel bad for doing to that to Rena, though."

"She's a big girl. She'll move on, either with Dias or through her own revelation."

"Still... Maybe I should apologize."

"Claude, take it from me; sometimes it's okay to just let something be. I mean, first you push your confession and then want to say it wasn't real? That would go over well, especially given you're not even sure yourself where your feelings are."

"Er, when you put it that way... Yeah. Okay. Sounds good."

Ashton pat Claude on the shoulder and stood from the bed. He smiled and waved his goodbye.

"Let's have drinks later. Just the guys. North City doesn't seem to have much but it would be nice to sit at the little tables outside and have a relaxing drink or two."

"Plus we haven't had a chance to do anything with 'just the guys'," which consisted of only himself, Ashton, and Dias. 

Ashton chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. "Okay, maybe just us then."

"Maybe. I'll let you know. I think I'll take advantage of the room for now since I paid for it and all."

"Dream of me~!" Ashton sing-songed on his way out with a grin.

"Please spend less time with Celine! She's clearly a bad influence."

Ashton laughed one last time as the door shut behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm trying to keep characters and conversations as in-character as I can, but I admit... I kind of suck as Dias. 
> 
> Oh, well. I'll just consider this practice!
> 
> Dias perspective in the first person. Because can.
> 
> Also, do recall Dias is from a medieval world where being gay, I imagine, isn't well-known or widely accepted. I imagine it is to some extent, since some of the romantic couples in the game could be gay, but the characters had the advantage of adventuring in more advanced worlds with people more used to the concept. 
> 
> Also also, Dias has already been said to be a different man on the inside than what he shows on the out. Outside he's cold and distant but inside he's shy and conflicted.

Ever since I was a child I knew I was a little different. I never knew in what way, but I knew--something about me is out of the ordinary. 

At first, I didn't think much of it. I figured it was because I was a boy surrounded by girls and raised by gentle parents--thats why I liked sweet over bitter and soft, "feminine" things. I never had the desire to wear a skirt or dress so I just thought I only had strong, female influences rather than wondering if I was a woman in the wrong body. 

So what if I knew different ways to braid hair? It didn't affect my skill with a sword and made my sister happy.

So what if I liked flowers? That didn't stop me from training and made Rena happy.

So what if I enjoyed feeling nice in light, loose clothes during my time from work? My mother made them and it made her happy to see me in them.

So what if I could appreciate an attractive man? It wasn't as if I would approach him.

So what if I loved my family so much I happily did even the chores considered best left for a woman? Who said which sex should contribute what around the house anyway? It's all important.

None of that bothered me. And no one in the village thought it was strange, either.

What I discovered about myself when I met _him_ , on the other hand... I finally understood what it really meant to find someone attractive. I didn't at first, though I did think he was quite small and cute. Strong for being so thin. Weird clothes. I could sense a special determination in him that intrigued me. I saw a sadness in his eyes that could almost match my own. But then we kept meeting, and then he insisted on inserting himself into my life, and then I agreed to join this entourage, and...

And now he's all I think about. When I'm fighting is the only time I can focus on something else. 

I think about what he might look like in different clothes and what I might dress him in.

I think about how I could help improve his aim and stance.

I think about why he's so muscular yet still so narrow.

I think about what it would be like to run my fingers through his hair.

I think about why these things I stopped caring about are suddenly so important again.

I think about his eyes, his taste in weapons and armor, his smell, his voice, his preference for steak, his naivety, his lips, his warm-up routine, his... 

I want to panic. I feel like I should. This is not supposed to happen. It can't. But it's the first time in years I've felt good about something. I'm good at hiding the way I feel, so I can enjoy it a little. I won't delve too deep--just enough to feel my insides squirming. I don't think I've ever felt so good about anything, actually, and if I'm not careful I know I'll become addicted.

It never occurred to me what it might be. I've never had a crush or anything similar before so I have no clue. I can't stop myself either, though I know this is not something a man should feel for another man...

Or...

Or at least I thought so. I thought my feelings were just like me, an abnormality. Just something a little different. But here on Nede I have seen men walking with other men on dates, held in romantic embraces, kissing in the rain and under street lamps with absolute bliss in their eyes and without a peep of protest from anyone. It seems perfectly normal here. Women with women I've seen, too, behaving this way. Some were even married and toting children.

It's not normal on Expel, but maybe that's because it's still primitive? Is this part of evolution?

He is also from a more advanced civilization, so I asked him about it.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. Gay marriage was legalized a millenia ago. It's common practice on my planet."

 _Is that what it's called?_ "How do you feel about it personally?"

"Personally? I don't see the difference. Love is love, right? That's how I was raised, anyway."

"Have you ever been with a man, then?"

He looks at me carefully with that question. He measures me up, as he does on occasion when he can't read my motives. I think it's sweet how he worries about my opinion, but I won't ever let him know that. He needs to remember to make decisions based on himself--not me. 

"... I have dated men. We didn't get far, though. Then again, I don't have much experience with women either." He chuckles at himself while relief fills my chest and drowns my belly in soothing waves. 

I won't ever admit I have less experience than him in that regard. He doesn't need to know. I'm glad to hear he's open to the idea, but yet to be taken.

"I see." And then, after I let him stand nervously a few heartbeats, I say, "I agree."

The relief he feels is evident on his face. I'm glad we can both be at ease, for now. 

I'm glad I'm not as strange as I thought. 

I'm also glad I'm taller than him. He's forced to look up at me when he smiles--his jaw at a sharp angle if I stand close enough. I've imagined kissing him like that more than once--he's in the perfect position for me just take his chin and hold him still for it. 

I wonder what it would taste like.

I wonder if he'd let me.

I know he's not with Rena. I know they've been back and forth with each other a while. I know even after he confessed she hesitated and when she finally returned his affections he practically ignored them. I know I thought my heart might stop when I thought he was dead. I couldn't stand the idea of losing someone else I cared about--not another one. I knew it still beat when it nearly ripped in half in excitement at seeing him alive. And again in surprising terror as I saw her cling to him.

But seeing him dismiss her made me hope. I felt heartless for feeling so uncharitable toward Rena, my last sister, but I couldn't stop myself from hoping:

For something I never thought i could have before.

That maybe I could. Though I shouldn't. 

That maybe one day... I would deserve to have it. Though I know I never will.

I hoped anyway. I can't help but think whatever they might have had is nothing more than hurt feelings now. He clearly wants my time more than hers. 

I'm not sure I'm strong enough to tell myself no. I need to stop. But I can't just get away from him now and travel to distant lands to escape--wgere would I go? But the longer I stay, the more I see him, the more I want to give in. I think I was already feeling this way when I agreed to come along. Why would I be traveling with them now otherwise? After finally convincing myself of what's best?

I always told myself since the incident I can't have this. It will only lead to heartbreak. Don't let your heart have even an inch or it will destroy you again. 

... I'm tempted to let it, for him. It already feels like it is too late anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello! I 100% plan to continue this, but I am unhappy with the first two chapters (and lacking muse at the moment). I want to re-write them so they have the same style (I think I like this as first person best) and so the second chapter looks a little less... whiny? I guess? It just doesn’t seem very “Dias” in parts.

I also have a lot of other fics I’m still transferring over from my old account on ff.net, and current ones I’m super focused on (and will be until I finish). 

In other words, consider this to be on Hiatus until further notice~


End file.
